Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
