youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize