Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
