I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
