in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
