You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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