Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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