I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
