If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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