i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
