She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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