grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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