At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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