..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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