he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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