Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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