Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
