If i come over, it means nothing
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
