have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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