Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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