Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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