So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
