If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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