Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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