I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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