I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
