All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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