john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
