So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dicks are not precious.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
