I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
