instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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