PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
