did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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