I didn't shave. On purpose
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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