it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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