i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
