So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
