My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
