You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
