hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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