Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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