You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
