Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
soo... how was my night?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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