You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
