Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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