I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
