You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
