hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
