yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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