Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
