you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I deserve to be covered in dicks
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize