how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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