bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
