I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
