on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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