when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
