Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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