He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
