I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
