you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
